How I Heal
Through all the trials in my life, I have spent years studying and learning about myself, the world, and how to heal from trauma. I am not a professional in any way, however, I have what many professionals do not have - personal experience. I don’t believe there is only one right way to heal, but this is how I have done it. This is how I found peace. This is how I find joy. This is how I find strength. This is how, even in the darkest abyss, I found light. I refuse to be selfish when so many are suffering - So here I am.. Completely raw and vulnerable.. Sharing what I have learned in hopes that it can help even just one person.
If this is at all helpful for you, please let me know your thoughts & experience! I love to learn from others and make true and genuine connections.
Please be generous and thoughtful in sharing anything you feel might help someone you know. Together, let’s spread as much light as we can.
Guides - Your Survivor Story
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Why We Give Up
Shine Your Light
Smart Talks - Elizabeth Smart Foundation
Awesome with Alison
Rise Together Podcast
Making It Happen with Henry Ammar
Perception, Seeing is Not Believing with James Purpura
#28 - "Finding the Powerful U" with James Purpura
How to Feel Loved & Cherished In Your Relationship | Women of Impact Panel Show
The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
Jay Stringer: Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Author, & Activist
Shawn Blymiller: Recovering Sex Addict, Yogi, Husband, & Father
The Real Life Podcast
Self Healing with Dr. Nicole LePera
844 Become a Self-Healer and Break Free of Emotional Cycles with Dr. Nicole LePera
Ep. 57 - How to Heal Your Inner Child with Dr. Nicole LePera
Your Path to Effective Trauma Therapy | Dr. Nicole LePera
932 Dr. Nicole LePera on Relationships, Boundaries, and Childhood Trauma
Utah based & works incredibly over the phone or zoom calls)
Utah Family Therapy in American Fork Utah (Ask for Rob)
Family Strategies (Ask for Debbie). She offers Hypnotherapy as well.
Family Strategies (Ask for Debbie)
Resources for Victims of Sex Crimes
Special Agent Joe Shuler
Utah Attorney General's Office | Secure Strike Force | Human Trafficking Unit
Victims Coordinator | Utah Attorney General's Office
Office : (801) 577-9758
Utah Crime Victims Legal Clinic | Victims Rights Attorney | Offers Pro Bono Options for Victims
Experienced Victims' Rights Attorney with a demonstrated history of working in the government administration industry. Skilled in Legal Advocacy and Research, Nonprofit Organizations, Government, Program Evaluation, and Public Speaking.
Victims Advocate | Utah Crime Victims Legal Clinic
Sargeant Glen Giles
Orem Police Officer | Orem Police Department
Daily Routines & Actions
What helped me survive and then thrive. I will continue to do these things throughout the rest of my life. My experience from the consistency & maintenance of these things have been undeniable & remarkable. I hope that you can experience the magnitude of blessings & healing that I have been able to experience - and/or anything else you are in need of at this time.
Before praying, I mental visualize clearing off a table cluttered with paper/books/etc. The table represents my head and the clutter represents all my worries, stresses, fears, thoughts, etc. Once I’ve been able to envision clearing off the table and the table is completely cleared and clean, I begin my prayer. I pour out my heart to my Heavenly Father, willingly being vulnerable. I repeat with passion & true desire “I have faith in thee. I trust thee. All I want is to do thy will. That is all I care about. I just want to do thy will.” I shift my focus entirely on asking for help in the things I need in order to do His will, putting my will and everyone else’s will aside. I listen with my heart and not my ears. Even if I don’t receive any spiritual guidance, I end the prayer with so much love and turn to my scriptures as a source for my Heavenly Father and the spirit to communicate with me. I do so believing with all my heart that my Heavenly Father is with me and will help me know whatever it is that I need to know at that time.
Before opening my scriptures to study them, I pray asking for something specific OR whatever Heavenly Father wants me to receive in that moment, whether it be peace, guidance, protection, direction, love, understanding, forgiveness, etc. And repeating over and over again the amount of faith I have in knowing that He can do all things. Then letting the scriptures fall open and reading the first thing my eyes see. Then taking the time to truly study where it opens to, taking notes and opening up my heart and mind to receiving what the spirit communicates to me.
Make my bed & clean my room
This psychologically tells my brain that I have done something productive which amplifies the chemicals in my brain with the energy and desire necessary to continue being productive throughout the rest of my day.
30 Minute Devotional
While washing my face, brushing my teeth, getting ready for the day, and tidying up my house, I listen to uplifting conference talks, podcasts, books, etc
Exercise & Workout
I start off my day with working out. If I can’t do my workout in the morning, I still prioritize it at whatever time during the day that I can & schedule it on my calendar for that day to ensure I do it. Working out gets our blood pumping, stimulates & raises serotonin levels (what makes us happy), and pushes our physical body to exceed current expectations and achieve growth - this then converts into the same thing for exceeding expectations for mental things and achieves mental, emotional and spiritual growth. ***One of the most effective ways I have been able to heal emotionally & mentally.
Boxing has been one of the best ways for me to release emotions that are no longer serving me. After trauma, I noticed that I was not experiencing the particular emotion of anger. Anger is one of the crucial parts in the grieving process, and is essential to feel completely and release completely in order to heal fully. I asked my counselor “For some reason, I don't feel angry. How can I make sure I’m not suppressing anger? I know if I don’t deal with it now, it will come up in the future and affect me negatively.” Her advice to me, along with similar advice from other professionals, was this: “Every time you feel any emotion that could be remotely similar to anger, I want you to hit something. Punch your pillow, take a racket and hit your bed, -” I interrupted her saying hesitantly, “Well.. we have a punching bag in our house” and she jumped with excitement “That’s perfect!” she laughed. Ever since then, I have been able to identify my emotions, allow myself to feel them fully as I punch the punching bag, and then follow it up with listening to something uplifting as I meditate and let the emotions pass through me, releasing the parts of them that are no longer helpful to me. Now, I train and box regularly - not only for this important purpose, but also for the purpose of learning self-defense and obtaining muscle endurance.
After working out, I will stretch (and if possible sit in a steam room) and get into the right headspace. I begin with breathing exercises (“see ___” link). Breathing and focusing on the ground beneath me helps me take the time to re-center and connect with my personal spirit which gives me the opportunity to obtain the gifts, feel grounded and prepared for connecting with my personal spirit/soul and also my Heavenly Father. This is often when I receive personal revelation. I believe and have experienced how we can access strengths, skills, and abilities that my immortal spirit has from the premortal life as well as others I have obtained in this earthly life. It also allows me to use the connection I’m having in that moment with my personal spirit to communicate more clearly & directly with my Heavenly Father, my Savior Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost and all other spirits and messengers of light on the other side of the veil. This type of connection and communicating takes TIME and extreme efforts on our end to receive. It’s readily available to all of us, however there are certain ways we are able to receive higher levels of spirituality and connection that helps us even more throughout this earthly life.
Listening to Uplifting Music
Throughout my day and as I drive, I listen to music that builds me up and brings & keeps the spirit.
Attend the Temple
I have invested the time & prioritized being fully present to allow the blessings of the temple to flow through me. When I am already doing things to thin the veil, it makes the experience of being in a place where the veil is already thinner, even more impactful & miraculous. My experiences within the temple are more than just remarkable - they are beyond words.
Drink TONS of water
Besides the fact that staying hydrated is good for us, drinking tons of water and staying extremely hydrated, especially while healing from trauma, is extremely important. Drink tons of water allows our body to flush out more toxins, including the toxins being released during therapy, mental & emotional growth, exercise, etc. If the toxins are not release from our bodies, neither are the things we are trying to free ourselves from. Staying extremely hydrated and helping oxygen flow to the brain also allows our brains to have more clarity, thus opening up more opportunities for spiritual guidance and clarity.
Early to bed, Early to RISE
Not too much & not too little. The body obviously needs sleep to rejuvenate. While sleeping, there’s a lot happening with our bodies - especially when healing from trauma & therapy. Sleeping patterns make a massive difference in our ability to have energy to heal and work through trauma. Most forms of therapy require mental & emotional effort, which results in our bodies feeling tired afterwards. Sleeping helps our body recover and continues the rewiring process we begin in therapy while we are sleeping. In order for this productivity to take place, our nightly routines are very important.
Consistently seeing *a psychologist specialized in what I am experiencing, has been a massive way for me to organize my thoughts and feelings out loud with a safe source in mortal form. This helps educate me on how my mortal body & mind works which in turn helps my spirit know how to better handle and be in control of it. Counselors and psychologists are NOT just there to listen. They are there to help educate you on how your specific mind & body is operating and helps you understand & know yourself more completely - which opens the door for growth. You cannot grow until you know where you’re at currently, how your body communicates & reacts, and the strategies and information necessary to move in the right direction based on you personally, your experiences, and your current state of mind, body, and spirit.
Spiritual (One of the 4 Vital Parts to Healing)
When seeing doctors for physical trauma I had experienced, their #1 question was surprisingly - “Do you have a relationship with God?” These doctors were all of different faiths, however they explained to me the scientific importance of having a connection to a higher power, especially in times of darkness. GOD’S DIVINE LOVE FOR YOU: “Wither shall I go from thy spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.” (Psalm 139:7-10)
This is another form of deep therapy but is focused around the powers of healing through “energy” or in other words, the connection between me & my spirit and my spirit & God. This is a tool I have been able to use to more fully access the infinite powers of the Atonement, including the power of healing, forgiveness, etc. It is from fully embracing the Atonement through “energy healing” that I have been able to utilize the divine power that my spirit has to be thorough in cleaning out and releasing negative or dark energy, core beliefs, opposition, fear, etc. This is often the only way to locate and determine forms of unseeable trauma that we have yet to release, let go of, or heal from. Energy healers are individuals with specific gifts and experience with understanding and navigating the energy within people. This opens up a new realm of healing that is often required for victims of the most severe trauma, as well as anyone with any trials throughout their life big or small. This form of therapy requires me to be extremely open minded & willing to become one with myself in the most vulnerable & uncomfortable ways.
Medication has helped me get my chemical levels within my mortal body & brain to be back to where they were designed to be. From the trauma I experienced, there was such severity in my chemicals being imbalanced that I would not have been able to get them back to doing what they are designed to do for my mortal body without utilizing the resources of modern medicine that were given to us from God. Medication has been a stepping stone in getting back on my feet and is CLEARLY not to solve any problems or take away any pain. It is merely a resource and tool to assist in the chemical damage that comes from trauma. It is not necessary to be on medication for my entire life because mortal bodies were designed to withstand & overcome trials, and there are endless resources to help me do that. God would not have designed mortal bodies that would need a substance in order to work properly. Mortal bodies are not perfect, but they were not designed to only work through the aid and assistance of science. Medication is here to help temporarily, so you can then have the ability to help yourself permanently. The only way to help ourselves though is through education, therapy, and consistent effort on our end that needs to be maintained throughout life - in good times and bad.
Remembrance & Spoken Affirmations
HUMAN EXPERIENCE : “Every day [during our mission] there were miracles. I cannot deny the Spirit I felt then. So, I said to God, ‘I have probably felt the spirit more than any woman alive, and since that’s the case, if I never feel it again, that’s okay; I can rely on the way I felt then… That was a big turning point for me. It didn’t cure my depression, but it changed my thought process.” - Ann Madsen
“Remembering is transformative. It’s especially useful for depressed individuals who have become convinced they are worthless and estranged from the Spirit. I love how often the scriptures honor remembrance, commending its power as a spiritual tool… Moroni’s concluding book also contains the sacrament prayers, which weekly renew our covenant with the Lord - and His with us - that if we will always remember Him, we will always have His Spirit with us (Moroni 4:5). We can exercise faith and hope in His promise, even when we are experiencing little spiritual light in the present moment. Our remembrance of Him and His remembrance of us are at the heart of our ongoing relationship, and it is not a relationship that He abandons.” - Jane Clayson Johnson, Silent Souls Weeping (pg 30)
“Our suffering, or weakness, may not be taken away, but the Lord can use it to make us strong and help us endure. Knowing, though words spoken aloud, that we are loved by God, strengthens our will. Paul teaches this lesson well. In 2 Corinthians 12:7, he wrote of his own despair, his ‘thorn in the flesh’. We don’t know what that thorn was, but we do know that Paul asked the Lord three times to remove it before he received his answer - a long-sought-after answer that did not involve taking away the thorn. Instead it offered comfort. The Savior’s promise to sustain Paul in his struggles -- and Paul’s testimony --- was this:
‘And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong’ (Corinthians 12:9-10).”
Jane Clayson Johnson, Silent Souls Weeping (pg 33)